I stayed home today to maintain the deception that yesterday’s vomit-fest was the stomach bug that’s been going around the schools. I don’t feel like dealing with coworkers, one in particular, who will question me coming back so soon. Should I really be working after something so contagious? I get it. I get their concern. I am just not up for dealing with it.
I didn’t sleep well, probably because I slept so deeply yesterday afternoon. And the hiatal hernia feels left out and is getting up a fuss for no d*mned reason.
I have be productive today, tho. I made one of the loaves of bread I planned to make at the beginning of the week (wait, Monday was just the day before yesterday?!) but was just too worn out to fool with.
Asiago rolls. And they are delish.
I also took a check to the bank, which is a really big deal because I’ve had it for a month (maybe more maybe less I have no idea how time works anymore) and I had to put on actual go-forth-into-the-world clothes.
I’ve worked a lot on Bestie’s birthday present. I won’t have it done to take with me this weekend, but the progress us good. I have confirmed there is just no good way to put the pieces together.
(It’s a decorative pillow — a lotus blossom on a lily pad — modified from the succulent pillow pattern I made for Jess’s Christmas present. Did I ever post a pic here? If not, sorry I don’t have one. I had to delete everything but basic essentials to run updates on my old phone. (Just checked. No image in my Wix gallery, no pic on my phone.))
Anyway, that’s it. That’s how little it takes for me to feel I’ve been productive.
On the other hand:
- I didn’t digested basic foodstuffs without vomiting
- I pet the cat A LOT
- I washed dishes while waiting for the dough to rise
- I read the news about yesterday’s “mass casualty event” at a school and read thebloggess’s post detailing her panic attack and continued functioning
- I filled up the gas tank while I was and wearing pants and sh*t anyway (not really optional if I wanted to get home but I did it dammit I get credit)
- I inhaled and exhaled and a hundred other autonomous functions and I get credit because I did them and did nothing to inhibit or prevent them
I’m actually kind of proud of this list.
I feel a smidge less itchy and twitchy, less like I’ve already tripped off the panic ledge and I’m just waiting for gravity to yank me down. I’m a long way from the border between anxiety and (more or less) functional. There aren’t even any road signs yet. But I know the dotted line between zones is there. I just have to keep going the right way and not get turned around.
Yeah, I’m gonna end the metaphor there before it gets totally out of hand.
p.s. It’s only Wednesday?! Still? Wasn’t it Tuesday like half a week ago?
Comments