As promised in some past post (this is number 6. If you've been reading from the start -- well if you stumbled on this blog sometime in the future, loved it because I'm just getting better and better, and went back to post one and are now binging through these early years -- you know better than I do where) I promised to introduce you to my cat. Torii. The boundary between the mundane and the sacred.
Demon.
Cat owners are nodding vigorously. Yes, yes, they're all demons. But Torii is a wee demon. I don't know why that makes her worse. Like a demon with a Napoleon complex, maybe. But trust me, she's worse than the usual demonic feline.
As you can see, she's a tortoiseshell. And she's small. And so freakin' cute. Which all equals a twee evilness, a, yes you have it, wee demon.
She also has a tragic backstory she'll lay on you if she thinks you don't fully appreciate her terrible cuteness, like every soap opera ingenue. She is super loving, totally into loves and pets and chin scritches. She makes herself right at home on my lap or my collar bone, whichever suits her fancy for the moment. When told "no" or chastised in any way she responds by leaping at a body part, mostly shins and forearms, and biting, tho without really trying to break skin.
She got her nickname of wee demon when one day early in our relationship she leapt at and attempted to wrestle my ankle into submission while I stood washing dishes in the kitchen.
Torii is a fearless hunter of all things smaller than herself. She has a large collection of felt meeces, but she usually has to resort to hunting bugs because she loses her many many meeces. "Hunting" bugs. The sarcastic quotes are there because mostly she sees a bug (gnat, stink bug, spider) high up on a wall or the ceiling and cries pitifully because she can't reach it and it just breaks her heart. She did kill a mouse once. It was a very small mouse, about the size of her felt meeces, so like 1" long at most, so a baby mouse and I'm pretty sure she gave it a heart attack because there was no blood which was some consolation as she killed it/it died in my bedroom and fortunately I did not actually step on it I just had to clean up dead baby mouse before I could go to bed oh yay. She also has Seed.
Torii watching a stink bug on the wall
(no my house isn't always this messy)
What can I say about Seed? I should maybe explain that I give all of her toys fun (or weird depending on your point of view) names. The yellow felt mousie is sunshine, for example. (Note: not Sunshine, but lower case sunshine. Punctuation, etc is how I choose it to be. I know spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I don't use spellcheck on this blog, for example. And I never use grammarcheck because Windows is wrong too often. So I'm like the Mannerists only with punctuation, etc instead of art. Also "mousie" is the singluar of "meeces". That probably goes without saying.) The blue felt mousie is Vlooo. The red felt mousie is Sir Percy the Scarlet Pimpermouse. And then there's Seed. It's a seed. No, really. Torii found an old dry bean, probably a green bean seed from a summer planting long past. Seed is actually a series of old dry beans, a fact I discovered as I threw it away yet there it was again -- being batted across the hardwood floor, hiding coquettishly under a throw rug, staking claim to the bathtub. Torii carries Seed in her mouth, transporting it from playdate to playdate. And somehow Seed doesn't disappear has quickly and thoroughly as meeces. Wtf, cat?! I haven't seen the Scarlet Pimpermouse or Princess Purple Mouse in months yet I remove a pervert bean from the tub almost every time I shower.
Torii's greatest ambition is to ride the ceiling fan. She notices it's on (usually after it's been on for about a week). She darts under it, testing every piece of furniture, never taking her eyes off it, squeaking squeaking squeaking so sad because she cannot reach. I, meaniepants human, have deliberately not provided her with furniture tall enough to reach the ceiling fan. Which is actually true as I have not decorated any room, with or without a ceiling fan, with a bunch of ladders.
Oh and did I mention she squeaks? Yeah, she sounds like a dog's squeak toy. If I hadn't already named her Torii (which I kind of did and kind of didn't) I would have called her Squeak. Because that's what she does. (That's a reference to the 90's animated The Tick series, beeteedubs.) Just another trait that plays into her whole evil twee vibe. Just so frickin' cute she makes your brain bleed a little.
a lot of loose small random shit temporarily housed on the counter
and (sneaky creepy Torii)
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