10:00 am - 10:10 am

10:00 am: Front desk phone rings. I have put my lunch in the fridge, but that's it so far. I am not logged in. I answer on the third ring. Dial tone.

10:02 am: Coworker calls because her commute from Louisville is extra h*ll today. She is on her way. She is in the county. She will be here soon.

10:07 am: Very odd call. I answer. Caller starts to speak. Stops. Starts to speak. This a few more times. Woman finally says, "I'm sorry. I thought there was a mistake on the books I need to renew because I got this notice but I just realized it's my daughter's card. I thought you had the wrong book, but it's okay." Oh yeah, I get it. So I ask if I can renew anything for her since we're on the phone. "No. I'm at work. I don't have my card information or anything. And she needs to bring her book back anyway." And she hangs up before I can explain that I can look her up by name to renew. She maybe was busy and sounded awkward and embarrassed. I hope her day gets better.

10:09 am: Front desk phone rings for a fourth time. I'm still at my desk in the back because I'm not due out front until 11, but since my late coworker (the coworker running late, you know what I mean) called I've been worried there's just the PT temp by herself up front, and I'm trying to get out there to help. But I answer the phone again. "Do you have computers?" Um, yes, this is public library and it's the 21st century. But I don't say that. I ask if there's a specific program she needs. Nope. "I just need to fill out my application." I don't know what application. I assume it's something online or maybe she has a printed application and needs the internet to check addresses, phones numbers, spelling? Who knows. I'm sure it will turn out to be something weird and she'll need some super fancy expensive Adobe program to even open the "application" and then something even weirder to do whatever she needs to do. Maybe 1990's dBase IV. Maybe a Playstation. Whatever. I'll deal with it when she comes in.

p.s. I also spent 16 minutes calling one patron with four overdue items. I called, spoke to the patron's wife. She returned the items. I checked the shelves, pulling out each William W. Johnstone paperback so I could read the title on the front barcode label (because his publisher really didn't want people to be able to read the spine titles. Also, several of the spine titles do not match the title as types anywhere else on the book and library cataloguing rules say use the title as it appears on the title page regardless of whatever nonsense the publisher puts on the spine and/or cover. Just something to keep in mind if you get a book published.). So I called her back and it rang once then nothing and I needed to take my break before I went out to the front for real. And she called back as I was eating a muffin. So I told her I didn't find the four items still on her husband's account but there was a day sometime in the last month and I can't narrow it down because gah what even is time anymore so one day there were some westerns (William W Johnstone wrote westerns if you're not familiar) in the book drop and some of them were donations, or so we thought, because there were books with price tag labels on the front and then there were others that had the library's barcode label and maybe possibly did she return some library books and some purchased books instead of all library books? She called her husband to check his shelves at home. Then she called me again to say yes that was exactly what happened because he found four library books on his shelves. Which then lead into a discussion of what did we do with the not-library books (we catalogued them because we didn't have those titles) and it was agreed (between me and her, I don't know if the husband got a vote) that the extras really were officially donations to the library now.

p.p.s. We're also having a continuing problem with the big staff printer. Every time anyone opens tray 1 there's bright pink toner on the edge of the drawer and sprinkled around inside. And there was a horrible traumatic toner changing incident involving the magenta toner but that was maybe summer/fall 2019. And we keep cleaning the edge of the tray. And all of the toners, including magenta, have been replaced at least once since then. And yet the next person who open tray 1 finds pink toner.

And it's getting worse.

You know in horror movies there's that weird stain that keeps reappearing, probably on a wall but possibly on a floor or even a ceiling, no matter how often it's washed away? It's like that, only insane clown posse pink. Which isn't really a standard color designation and I don't know Insane Clown Posse even had a pink in their logo. But I think the name is quite evocative and really a much better descriptor than so many I see. (Greige is a floor/ceiling color in a decorator game and it is both as bland as it sounds and puke-like.)

p.p.p.s. It's almost lunch time. Hopefully I can survive another four hours of . . . whatever this has been.

p.p.p.p.s. I passed a property that had three LARGE em-effin' vultures roosting on the roof of what I guess was the garage. A fourth LARGE em-effin' vulture swooped down over my car to land in a nearby tree. Omens. Do not ignore them.

My first thought was: I don't see a dead deer, sooooo . . . do I need to call the state police? Because I really feel like I should get to a safe distance and call KSP (Kentucky State Police, for those of you not hep to our cool lingo).