I’m on top of the Christmas present game this year. Have been for awhile. I even have prezzies for people I’m not exchanging gifts with since we decided to do secret Santa at work. The list is complete.
Then I realized I never got anything for my brother. He wasn’t on my to-get list because I couldn’t think of anything to get him.
I bought him hot sauce yesterday. It’s fancy Kentucky-made gourmet hot sauce. But still ultimately a small bottle of desperation.
He had a long-sleeve white UK tee years ago. Every so often I look for a replacement. So okay, time to look again.
Kohl’s seems desperate based on the emails I receive multiple times a day. Hmmm. Not much UK stock actually in central KY. Eye roll. But I need to find something and order it.
We’re having our family Christmas on 12/30, I think. Maybe 12/29. Whatever. It’s annoying but works in my favor with the late ordering.
No white UK anything at Kohl’s. Quick pop over to Amazon. Search for uk long sleeve mens tee. Filter to “white”. O-kay. Most of these are not white. Some are UK but there are a lot of other teams represented. Because sports fans are usually cool with wearing a different team. Only a couple are long sleeve. Several meet zero search criteria and seem, based on the women modeling them, to be some kind of brightly-colored geometric-patterned kaftans. Or maybe serapes even. No sleeves at all really.
Change color to”grey”. More options, altho still maybe 1 out of 100 match my search. Click on one. It’s ok. Normally I’d keep looking but, you know, desperate. Select size: M.
And then I suddenly get all kinds of shade. “Based on purchases by customers who wear your size, XX-Large will fit you best.” With that bolding.
It’s December 19. It’s a gift, bitch!
Which leaves Walmart. Ugh. But what’s left after you cuss out a search engine? A really really shitty search engine.
Merry effing Christmas to you too, Alexa. And bite me.
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