Holy shit, y'all! I drove through the twilight zone on the way to work.
1. There's this road I sometimes drive to work. It's narrow and windy and very steep+windy in one place. I only take it to connect two other windy hilly (but otherwise "normal") country roads, all of which is actually a couple of mile shorter and a few minutes quicker than the other route. I won't drive it if the road is wet or snowy or icy. But today is quite nice.
Then I got behind this . . .
This is not even the narrowest part of this road. This is the okay part to drive on, mostly flat, few curves, only the occasional deer or beaver crossing. In about 1/2 mile is the very very steep+windy bit I hate. It's narrower than this with a guardrail on the left because of the sharp drop-off. There is no shoulder. Another mile from this point is the narrowest where the road is more or less one lane as it goes under a railroad trestle. I followed the prefab half of house -- it was that or turn around in a driveway -- down the horrible hill, where the speed limit drops from 35 mph to 25 mph and the prefab dropped from about 10 mph to about 4 mph and that was just because the slope wouldn't let him slow down more.
If I were driving that I would punch the owner or developer (whoever thought this could work).
I don't know what the forward warning truck was doing, buy this rear guy would swerve across the lanes and back every so often., Maybe to prevent anyone from trying to pass? I mean, people do really dumb things. I stayed well back, mostly because I thought the half house would lose control and crash any moment and I wanted distance between me and the flaming wreck.
The troupe turned off -- onto an even windier narrow road with the word "Buzzard" in it's name -- before the trestle. Which is good because there's no way that was fitting through the trestle.
2. I finally got to the end of this road and turned onto my next two lane country road and . . .
there was a heart in the road. (Sorry. No pic.)
Maybe. There's a lot of roadkill along here and a lot of vultures (did you know there are vultures in central Kentucky, because I didn't until I got this job and I've lived in this state most of my life). So random animal corpses with varying amounts of body left are pretty common. But this was just a red blob in the middle of the lane with no other other animal bits, not even ribs. So it probably wasn't a heart. But I was running a bit late by then and this road gets more traffic, so I didn't slow down.
3. Final stretch. I turn onto the last highway, now a bigger four lane that is fairly straight with gentle hills. And an old rusty two-door (hopefully automatic transmission) muscle car turns onto the road behind me. Annnnd it kind of looked like there was a foot sticking out of the driver's side window. With only the one person, the driver, in the car. Surely not. Being a dude in a muscle car, of course he had to pass me. He was going maybe a few inches, definitely less than 1 mph, faster than me, so it took awhile and then he was in my blind spot for a couple of minutes. Then I needed the left lane damnit, so I slowed and got behind him . . .
and, yes, there was a foot. There was one foot out of the passenger side window and two feet out of the driver's side window. One foot belonged to a passenger slumped waaaay down in the back and one belonged to the driver. I don't know who the passenger side foot belonged to; hopefully there was another extremely slouched passenger in the back, but who knows. Both men I could see also had their right arms stretched across the headrests.
So to sum up: back passenger 1 has left foot out of the driver's window, and maybe his right foot out of the passenger side window, and right arm stretched across the back headrests. If back passenger has only one foot out, then there is a back passenger 2, possibly sitting on the floor, possibly invisible, with his right foot out of the passenger side window. Driver has left foot out of his window and his right arm across the front headrests.
Then this when I got to work. That is the front (patron) entrance. The side (staff) entrance and also curbside pickup area is along the left. You definitely can't get in the front and the side is rather iffy. So we didn't open until the tree service finished as none of this was safe to walk under, around, through, between, or any other preposition. So no dealing with people other than coworkers for an extra hour! woot!
Epilogue
Super nice guy did return and need more stuff scanned for the new job. And then a few more things. Because new job HR guy keeps thinking of stuff he needs for the file but doesn't want to do his job of verifying previous employment etc. Or he has a bet going with his HR buddies to see who can get a new hire to do the most and the most ludicrous busywork before s/he even starts.
Seriously, anyone who does the whole "people just don't want to work" "just get a job" roaw roaw, you go through the job search and hiring process. Yes, you absolutely need unemployment assistance while you're wading through all of this rigmarole. Seriously, go set up accounts for Monster and Indeed and even LinkedIn. I'm not going to wait while you do this because I have a life. You, as a new job seeker, do not. This is all you do now.
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