First off, I know the title of yesterday's post, "Friday, not my day" came from a quote or something. I could kind of almost hear something in my head, so probably a song lyric. I finally got it. "Battlestations" by Wham!
You're welcome, everyone else whose brain was itchy because of it.
Feeling 100% crap. It's 8:30 pm. Should I even bother making supper or just go to bed? If I cook, well, what?
So, yeah, I'm in day whatever of this thing. It's like I've gotten bored with anxiety and I'm looking over the edge into depression valley but I just don't have the oomph to actually go over. It occurred to me that, if I had an addiction, I could check into rehab for a month flipping off reality on my way in and it would be a medical absence from work (and life in general) and it would be considered a positive, oh she's taking responsibility for her actions and getting the help she needs blah blah. But feeling I need to just take a break to relax and detox from all of the ugliness at work and, well, getting away from the source of the problem and getting the mental help I need, well that's just lazy crazy talk. It almost makes an opioid addiction seem like the way to go. Except I don't really have the disposable income.
How do people afford a drug addiction? I mean, to start. Not later when they pawn everything and lose their home and car. Obviously they can't afford it either at that point. I have a mortgage and about $3k on a credit card I'm struggling to pay off plus the regular monthly bills and groceries and gas and of course all of the medical copays and things not covered by insurance from the last several months. The point is, I couldn't afford a ziplock of pills even if I knew where and how to get them. No one is offering me anything free to get me hooked.
So that's my speculations for the night.
p.s. On Sundays I cook a big batch of something that I divvy up for lunches for the week. I don't eat out or order in more than a couple of times a month and usually less than that. Taking a sandwich to work every day doesn't automatically erase all debt. Please quit being snooty to people, especially millennials and younger.
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