Should old acquaintances be forgot

It’s 11:37 pm on December 31st. This was going to be — finally — Christmas for my small group of friends. The four of us. And someone else, with a much larger house with more bathrooms, volunteered to host.

And we all met there.

And now I’m home. Two hour drive there. And a big messy mess of messiness. And a two hour drive home.

I’m not going to do a whole play by play. Not much happened really anyway.

But what did happen brought on a full-blown panic attack. And I had to leave.

And as I drove I wondered if I just left forever. I feel like something broke tonight. I didn’t break, but something did.

I’m not angry, tho I sort of want to be. I’m just very, not sad exactly but that’s probably the nearest emotion.

There is absolutely no point this post. But at the same time I feel it is very important that I type it.