I want to post this sign on one of the country roads I regularly drive. Specifically, the one where I saw a black vulture trying to open a gallon-size food storage bag that seemed to be full of raw roast.
Because I had to swerve to avoid so much half-eaten and picked-over roadkill on that road today. I get it, vultures, squashed skunk and raccoon aren't so appealing once you've had a nicely butchered roast. But you're leaving a mess on the highway and there are no shoulders (highway, not roadkill) so the only place for drivers to swerve is into oncoming traffic.
And, yes, "do not feed the vultures" should be a given. Obviously it isn't since that roast in a ziplock didn't just fall from the sky. There is precedent as I saw a "Do not feed coyotes" sign at Grand Canyon National Park. Again, that should be obvious, but clearly it happened often enough that the park rangers said, "Fuck this. We need a sign."
And by "I want to post" I mean I want Kentucky Transportation Cabinet, Department of Highways to post this very much needed sign.
p.s. I realize this looks like I'm saying "don't give steak to vultures" which is sort of my message. I couldn't find free clipart of a baggie full of quality meat. Or even free clipart of an arm throwing a baggie out of a car window, which is how I assume the mystery donor gave the ziplock to the vulture, but I didn't see it happen so I can't be one hundred percent sure that's how it went down.
p.p.s. And you know what they say when you assume. Some ass will jump in with what they believe is just the wittiest comment ever and you'll have no option but to stab them repeatedly with a spork. Which is especially horrible if you haven't been to KFC is awhile so you don't even have a spork.
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