Several years ago the lights around one of the windows partially fell . . . and formed the symbol of the Summoning Dark. If you don't get the Terry Pratchett reference I'll explain.
The Summoning Dark is an ancient being, sort of. It's a curse that worms its way into the mind of its prey, looking for weaknesses, dark emotions to exploit. Once it finds its entry it ramps up all of the negativity -- the grievances and anger and spite and jealousy and hate -- to eleven on the Spinal Tap amp. And it pushes you, the prey, to use that anger and spite etc.
I don't have the Summoning Dark in the window this year, because I never put up lights in the windows. But I feel its presence anyway.
I'm pretty sure the pipe is not frozen, tho it might have been. The toilet tank won't fill so I have a large saucepan in the bathroom to refill it manually so I can flush. It's annoying and I foresee another repair bill I really don't need right now. But it's not an emergency. I can cope.
I am coping.
So the Summoning Dark upped its game.
There's a puddle around the water heater. I have suspected it was leaking in a small way for awhile, but I couldn't catch it in the act as it were. Just mysterious wet spots in the basement that were gone next time I looked.
This puddle hasn't disappeared. But neither is it getting bigger. Or deeper. And there's still no obvious leak. This will be the third time I've replaced the water heater in 21 years. I'm really not happy, but dammit this time I'm getting a smaller -- and hopefully shorter because there's not much headroom down there -- energy efficient model. Even tho they cost more, initially, than "normal" full family-size units. So an even bigger repair bill looms, but still not an emergency. It can wait until next week and I'll call the plumber and get on his schedule.
The carbon monoxide alarm went off. I called emergency services and cornered the cat and finally got her into her carrier when the fire crew arrived and Torii and I sat in n the car but I couldn't turn it on until the gas levels dropped which they finally did and then guy from the gas company came and the firemen left. And the whole time I thought, "Dear god I hope it's the water heater. I can't have the water heater leaking water and something else, probably the furnace, effed up and leaking a poisonous gas."
Eventually the gas guy left me with two red flags: one for the water heater (slightly f^cked) and one for the furnace (seriously f^cked). Obviously the gas is turned off to both.
So with an overnight low in the 20s, I grabbed essentials and drove wee demon and myself to my mother's house. And that's been a whole separate adventure, one that's still happening because my hvac people haven't responded to my increasingly panicky voicemail.
(Someone from the plumber's did but only to say the office was closed and the manager will call in the morning to schedule. That whole text convo was before the CO alarm. I didn't update the plumber about the water heater's status change from annoying small leak to off due to gas leak. The furnace is the priority.)
It's about 3:00 am in Lexington, Kentucky. I slept a few hours in a recliner. I have a tickle in my throat from the 90 minutes I sat in the car, most of it with no heat. I have a headache, maybe a residual of the CO exposure or maybe just from the whole day. I'm in limbo waiting for people to call me back. Torii is prowling, occasionally walking across me, but that's better than hiding in my mom's hall closet. I worried the exposure effected her, but she's fine.
That's what I'm trying to focus on. No heat, no hot water, headache, sleeping in a chair, buuuuut we do have a warm place to stay. I'm alive and mostly well. Ditto for the wee demon.
I've been so angry and frustrated and worried this year. And I'm finally improving my mental health and trying to improve my physical health. I can feel the anxiety growing like watching the mercury climb in an old timey thermometer when you have a fever. (Or like an app loading bar, I guess.)
And I don't want to go down this road again. I got too close to the edge last time.
I'm not letting the Summoning Dark pull me down. Not because it's Christmas, but because I have worked too hard to give into negativity now.
I'm trying to maintain normal, steady doses of cdb tincture, but I really just want to down it like an airplane mini hooch. It's almost empty, so my restraint is more because I don't want to have to go to either inconvenient store rather the forces of good prevailing in me.
p.s. I did festoon the Christmas tree with ornaments. Christmas Eve. About 8:30 pm. woot.
p.p.s. For more information about the Summoning Dark read Thud! by Terry Pratchett.
p.p.p.s. I just freaked looking at the weather app because it said our nect expected precipitation will be .15" on Friday (when it will be in the 60s because we want to cram all four seasons into the last week of 2022). Except I'm tired and I didn't see the decimal point and the way life the universe and everything have been going fifteen inches seems extreme but possible (in a horrific way).
p.p.p.p.s. (It's just like old times what with all of the postscripts.) (Also I've forgotten what I was going to write. Oh wait, I know!) I started this post a couple of days ago when it was just the water heater and toilet (did I mention the toilet has been fine since temps got above 0F). It's been a draft while I looked for the pic of the Summoning Dark lights and thought of a title. Then yesterday happened and is kinda still happening. I still don't have the pic or title, but I'm going to post anyway and update with the pic later (just in case later never comes). I have to have a title to post, tho.
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