I’ve noticed a thing on Facebook on my phone where I’ll type a comment and sometimes the comment posts and sometimes it doesn’t and sometimes it does a weird delay of 5-30 minutes to post. Which is what happened commenting on a post in a group and I started to retype the comment but thought I should check in case it was a delay while already assuming it didn’t post at all and thought, “F#ck you, Meta. My friends think I am insightful and witty.” Except in my own head I messed up “insightful” and thought “inciseful” like full of incisors and I’m pretty sure I have the normal amount because no dentist or hygienist has ever said, “My god, it’s all incisors in there!” My dentist has said more than once that my teeth are boring because there's never anything for him to work on. I don't think that would be his attitude if I opened wide and he saw enough incisors for ten mouths.
The worst part was actually arguing with my own brain that not only was inciseful not thw word I meant it isn't even an effing word.
Anyway, that was Monday. Tuesday started with me waking up the usual number of times throughout the night but almost immediately getting back to sleep. Even when I jerked awake with great violence because my meditation + gentle rain sleep video segued into a blaring ad. So I woke a couple of minutes before the alarm as close to well-rested as I'll ever get and went into the bathroom and stepped in -- and you lnow nothing good ever follows "stepped in" -- cat diarrhea.
On the bathroom mat.
Right in front of the toilet.
Three rooms and a hallway from the litter box.
I'm wary of letting sun signs and fortune cookies and other omens predict my day, but I think the message was pretty clear. "Go back to bed and stay there. But wash your foot first. Like really wash it."
Someone who isn't me might think, "Well, the rest of the day has to be better" This person has never heard of jinx, which I kind of do believe in. I'll just say to that fool that contrary to their sunny optimism Tuesday went as advertised. Altho to be fair there was more weirdness than, well, sh^t.
I did have to put my hand inside a public trash can to set it on its base correctly so we could close its lid. That was almost as gross as the unexpected cat diarrhea.
The final oddity -- dear lord I hope it's the last because I am done with today -- was the last patron of the night said I smelled good. Which I don't believe, but whatever. She didn't say it in a smarmy or creepy way. Just matter of fact. Nice, but it had been tooling a day to be true. Tho I'm glad I wasn't inadvertently dragging around diarrhea order all day.
It's 10:00 pm. I'm going to bed.
p.s. I think I might have messed things up with my loan. It's been a vague worry for several days. I can't tell if it's a legit concern or my brain just finding a new toy to fret over. I thinkI need to call Germaine the loan officer and just ask her, "So did I f%ck up? And how do I fix it?"
p.p.s. I hear lots of strange scratchings coming from the litter box area. A lot. Please, Tuesday, don't end in sh^t like you began.
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