Again, for like the fourth or fifth post in a room, sorry for vanishing.
So to catch y'all up (mostly because I don't know what I've told you):
My mom fell. Again. And broke herself. Again. For those unaware, my mom is practically a sci-fi construct being at this point. She has a metal rod in one leg, metal pins in one knee, I think metal in one hip, and metal plates in both wrists. She has had several micro-fractures and hairline fractures in her back, shattered a femur, broken a hip, broken both ulnae (or maybe ulna of one arm and radius of the other, it's really hard to remember), sliced up a thigh but good, broken nose, several breaks of the pelvis which should really be just slivers and dust by now, broken one or two ribs, almost sliced her wrist open on a broken glass (accident, not suicid attempt), and broken a clavicle. And now an elbow.
She seriously cost way more than $6,000,000.
Add in the eye surgeries, glasses, and hearing aids and she should be able to take on Steve Austin and Jaime Summers with no sweat.
The fall was the first weekend of December, I think. I would actually have to scroll back through texts to find the date. She was in a trauma ward -- actually a tower off of a pavilion because UK Med is fancy AF. She moved not to the usual physical rehab (where seriously everybody knows her name) but into a short term assisted living.
It has good food. And it's much easier to find your way around that either UK Med or Cardinal Hill (her regular rehab place). The nurses seems great.
After that I struggle to find nice things to say. My brother, SIL, and I have had several meetings with her assigned social worker. Who has made some positive changes to her care. But we really want her out of there as soon as possible. But the PT and OT were pretty sub-par until our last meeting with the social worker.
Gah. That is way more words than I planned to spend on the recap. And I haven't even explained today's title.
So today I went to my local ER. I haven't been there since the whole angry gallbladder + diva pancreas thing back in February and March. Oh, yeah, my left knee has been weird -- stiff and swollen -- for awhile. (It's a lot of trekkin' through UK Med parking garage, then through UK Med itself. Just sayin'.) The last couple of days added a certain. . . tearing. . . element to the pain. I reached a point where, sitting, I didn't think I could stand again.
I did finally manage to get mostly vertical, so got in the car -- in which I confronted the impossibly of sitting again from a standing position -- and somehow got myself the approximately two miles to the hospital. Then the whole getting my left leg out of the car and standing up comedy of errors.
Then I was lying -- after only a few minutes of struggle and swearing -- on the bed and . . .
That's all. I was lying still. I brought a good book (Bookshops & Bonedust). I read. I texted Bestie. I didn't really have to do much because they brought x-ray to me. I did hold the x-ray backdrop thing in place for the side view shot, but that was it. The tech turned off the lights for x-ray -- not strictly necessary, I think, but turns out we both prefer the dark -- so that was restful.
Then I read until the nurse came in with shots of steroids and muscle relaxants. I declined the narcotic pain med, because a) I don't do well with really strong pain meds*, and b) I would have to drive myself home when the fun was over.
Then more reading. And I realized it was the most calm and relaxed I've been at least since mom's latest accident.
So this is what I've really needed, even more than a massage: a couple of hours in a small town ER. Five stars. Best spa day I've ever had. The only thing I would have added if I could -- a pedicure. I don't know how I would have managed getting my feet into the bubble tub, but I'd make it work somehow.
*I will make an exception for morphine. It does bring the zombie side effect (staring blankly at the walls, ceiling, and inside of my eyelids in lieu of sleep), but it's worth it for the floatiness. If we keep the dose low, we minimize the anxiety after-effect.
p.s. I'm not really in a lot of pain. I can stand; my knee isn't weak or wobbly. I can sit. I can lie down. I only start screaming when I have to go from one position to another. I have a pain med, something I've never heard of, and steroids. I haven't taken the pain med yet. I'm treating the pain by staying still.
Until I have to pee.
p.p.s. Merry Christmas or other holiday of your choice. I missed Channukah. Ditto Solstice. Kwanzaa and New Year's are on their way.
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