deep thoughtless friday

It is (was, in just under two hours) Friday. I have no deep thoughts. I spent the last two days avoiding thoughts. When I think, my bp bounces up another fifteen points abd my anxiety jumps fifty.

I haven't posted because I really don't want this to just be 'o woe is me this cruel world' sort of blog. So no details, just there's been a financial snag and I've done all I can for now. So there's the 'how will I pay bills' fretting plus loss of control all pushing me into a bad space.

So no thinking because thinking only leads to crying and panic.

And I'm talking to anyone about because a) there is no practical assistance anyone can give and b) I can't face the usual damning positives people say. You know the sort of thing.

Cheer up. There's always tomorrow. Things can only get better.

No. No. And bite me. (Not in that order.)

I understand why people fall back on platitudes. That doesn't mean I can cope with them at this time.

So that's why I haven't been around regularly. Things may be unsettled for a bit. But don't think the worst. I am holding on. I remind myself I have coped with far worse. It may not all be okay in the end, but it will be.

I will be.