conversations with my demon

Torii, aka my wee demon, doesn’t talk much. Which is nice as my last cat, Ivan, was the sort of cat euphemistically referred to as “chatty.” He yeowled his fool head off. But I got used to having conversations with Ivan. So now I have to provide both sides of my convos with Torii (because I’m certainly not going to let a little point like it’s insane deprive me of having a nice talk with my cat.)

Tonight’s conversation with Torii:

I’m on the couch. I finished supper a few minutes ago. I’m trying to read. I’ve already jumped up once to chase Torii out of the kitchen sink where she’s trying to lick the dirty plates.

Torii joins me on the couch, but clearly she is only interested in biting my right kneecap (which is larger than her head).

me: ow

Torii: (gets off the couch then looks up at me from the floor)

me: what?

Torii: snuggle?

me: ok, yes, come up and snuggle. no biting!

Torii: (looking deeply hurt) but . . .

me: there’s no biting in snuggle.

Torii: i don’t want to snuggle if i can’t bite. i don’t know if i’ll bite. i don’t know that i feel like biting. but i’m not snuggling if i decide i want to bite but i can’t.

me: torii, come up and snuggle.

Torii: no! no bite, no snuggle.

(she exits stage right)

So this probably isn’t funny, but that’s because you can’t hear the sullen teen voice I use for her side of the dialogue. I think I really nailed it.

I have lots of conversations like this with the demon.