Did you ever do that, or try to fo it when you were a kid? Slude diwn then try to climb up the slide? Not go around to the steps or rungs (depending on the type of slide), but go up the slope?
I did. It feels like there was a period, nine or ten or maybe a bit older, when that was a thing. Kids wanting to prove they had outgrown the playground when of course we hadn't really. But you never wanted to he the "baby", the kid who still enjoyed childish things.
It's 4:00 am and I'm trying to get back to sleep. I've been awake maybe half an hour, and I was fighting my brain to stay under for a good bit before that.
And of course my brain is spiraling. I'm actually spiraling about spiraling, because yeah my brain just hates me that much. And I wondered why it's always a downward spiral. Why don't we spiral up?
And, you know, I think we do.
(And my apologies if this is totally already a recognized pschology thing that lots of smart people have published scholarly research about. It's a new idea to me, but also seems kinda obvious now that I'm putting it into words. Yeah, probably not new. Feel free to skip my epiphany.)
I think we do have times in our lives and in our brains when we're gradually ascending. Maybe we notice it happening but don't want to jinx it by drawing attention to it. Maybe we just don't notice it happening.
Is the upward spiral like climbing up the slide? It's harder, slower, and requires effort to maintain?
I don't think I notice a downward spiral until it really gains momentum. Until I'm past the point where I can push my feet into to the sides and stop. Until I'm closer to the bottom than the top, or at least that's how it seems.
I remember two slides at the "big" park, the one with a public pool in the summer and multiple ball fields. One slide was higher and steeper. (This is the era if the freestanding metal slide ending in hard dirt or deep mud.)
The shorter was pretty easy to climb once you got the knack. A few kids managed to climb the higher slide, but it took skill. And speed. It was almost like a cartoon; the angle was such that you had to reach the top before physics noticed what you were up to.
I can't remember if I ever managed it. My initial reaction is that yeah I did it with much scrambling and slipping partway back down. But I was never terribly athletic or coordinated, so it seems unlikely. But then again I might have really practiced at it so I could do it in front of classmates and so maybe rob them of one thing to taunt me about. I dunno . . .
4:32. I def need to add cbd oil to my to-do list. For now I'm going to choose another bedtime anti-anxiety sleep story fading into rain or waves. And maybe start practicing the spiral ascent.
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