Two thoughts today.
First: Remember a few days ago when I said showering was a great time to check yourself for mysterious owies? (If I figure out how to link back to a previous post you'll find the link right here. No link? Ok, then I didn't figure it out or couldn't be bothered since I have less than a half dozen previous posts. Remember how deeply insightful and wryly humorous they were? The pithy observations on this funny ol' thing called life? Don't you want to go back and reread them? Sure you do.)
Anyway. At work we spend a lot of time wiping down, well, any surface a library patron might have touched. Many many many times a day. We use Lysol and Clorox wipes (I just use Lysol because I once had a very bad allergic reaction to Clorox cleaner) and rubbing alcohol for anything we can't use the wipes on. (On which we can't use the wipes. I know proper English; I choose not.) Except I don't think it's called rubbing alcohol anymore. The bottle says something like "pure alcohol" but also 70%. So . . . 70% isn't pure (ask anyone who's ever taken a purity test) and "pure alcohol" sounds to me like it's made from corn and other mysterious ingredients in a still in the woods. Or at least like something Vincent van G used to clean his brushes and drink when he couldn't get anything else. "Pure" but not in a good way.
Anyway. (It's been that kind of day.) Anyway. We wipe surfaces. It's our main duty in these pandemic days. And my point -- I know you doubt I have one, but, ha, joke's on you -- is that cleaning the Circulation Desk sneeze guards is another very good, very thorough way to check your hands for owies. I found one today. And the best part is I've sterilized it already. No sudden realization I have blood dripping down finger and trotting to the bathroom to wash it lest I catch the lockjaw along with COVID.
Second: Amazon. I need a gif here of a perpetually slowly shaking head, maybe that cute dog that used to try to help you find lost files in MS (lost in Microsoft, not Multiple Sclerosis). He was such a cutie, tho' absolutely useless at finding and retrieving files. Maybe MS (you know what? I'm just going to call it Windows). Maybe Windows should have used some kind of hound dog. Maybe that dog was supposed to be a hound. So maybe Windows should have actually trained that dog, whatever his breed, to hunt.
Back to my story, altho I bet many of you can guess it from the tags for this post. Yep, you got it. I received a picture of a package on a porch. It very definitely was not my porch so I have no reason to believe it was my package. This is a regular occurrence with Amazon with packages delivered by Amazon. The real USPS mailman knows where I live. FedEx and UPS have no problems (altho I have a problem with UPS because the drivers try to hide my packages from porch predators and leave the packages in the flower/weed bed beside the porch which is really just a stoop raised a couple of steps above the level of the beds and I have to haul a 60 lb 2'x2'x4' box up a few feet onto a stoop which has room for me or the box but not both and it's usually raining and I'm juggling my purse and lunch bag and coat because I just got home from work and I have the umbrella in my other hand and how many hands does the UPS driver think I have and it's not like the peony is hiding the package because it's raining so the peonies god I hate them so much are flopped face-down in the mud). Pizza Hut can find my house tho Papa John's sometimes stops in front of my neighbor's house and calls me and I tell them I'm the woman standing in the next house waving like a lunatic. But that's only when I get a driver who hasn't been to my house before. The repeat drivers tend to remark upon and/or say hit to the gargoyle or ask what happened to the skull. (I'll explain another day.) DoorDash has never given my food to the wrong person.
So what's your problem, Amazon? Seriously? And if your drivers can't handle the complexity of reading house numbers and street signs (I say this because I don't recognize the porch in the latest photo which makes me wonder if the driver was a block over) maybe leave the delivery aspect to companies whose primary function is driving boxes around all day.
Also, my street is one block long. 19 houses.
I have my house number on the wall to the right of the door and just above the mailbox.
Update: It's actually a couple of days since I started this post. I don't want this blog to just devolve into my whinin' and bitchin'. At least not without a brilliantly pithy point. So I'm just going to end this with an apology if this post isn't the high quality of whinin' and bitchin' you're used to.
p.s. The second part of the order came USPS so it was waiting on my doorstep (in the rain, natch). The redelivery of the first part of the order came just a few hours after the original delivery -- opened -- came anonymously to my house. In the past I have contacted Amazon and said hey whoever you gave my stuff to decided it wasn't worth keeping and finally gave it to me so thanks but I don't need the replacement. This time I did not. I feel slightly bad but you know what not really. A bonus Apple charging cable seems adequate payment for the annoyance Amazon causes me.
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