Last week was pancreatitis continued. I'll spare you. But I did have a couple of Deep Thoughts so I figured I'd catch up on those.
One: Insurance companies are based on cruelty. I don't remember where I left off last time, so I was released from the hospital, met the surgeon and did all of the paperwork with his office, and scheduled my surgery toward the end of the month. And promptly received a letter from my medical insurance denying the surgery.
And my first thought wasn't my usual gyroscope of anxiety or even anger. No, I stood in my kitchen, letter in hand, and rolled my eyes. Because of course the insurance doesn't think surgery is necessary after over two years of mystery GI attacks of increasing severity culminating in a week with two ER visits and a two night stay in the hospital.
And the surgeon's office will resubmit everything they've already submitted. And suddenly that same information will get the surgery approved.
And it's f^cking cruel to play these childish mind games with people who are in pain and scared.
Two: I've always asked for a very snall dose of prescription pain meds. The usual amount makes me groggy and slow not sleepy, twitchy not relaxed. And doctors were right to ignore me.
I had an attack yesterday. Bestie and I were out and about and oh it doesn't matter where we stop for lunch I'm just getting grilled chicken or a salad and even most fast food places have a grilled chicken and a salad. Except no they don't. I don't know when the menus dropped grilled chicken for larger and larger burgers -- I love a cheeseburger but no one needs a three-, four-, and five- patty option. So I ended up pulling the breading off of a fried chicken tender but it was still awfully d^mned greasy and ta-da angry pancreas.
I took one of the pain meds prescribed by the hospital doc. I actually thought I had the wrong bottle. The pill was tiny, not the huge oblong I've had in the past.
5 mg.
The perfect dose for me.
Perfect.
There was no chance of getting addicted to the large doses that yeah helped with the pain, but just buried me in sleepless anxiety.
The 5 mg was just fab. No pain. A lovely relaxation. I could have slept but chose to stay awake, hang with Bestie. And now I can see how people get hooked on opioids.
So now I have to be careful with that and appeasing my pancreas while waiting for the insurance company to rubber stamp YES over the original rubber stamp NO.
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